Ultimatum

I’ve given myself an ultimatum.

You know, about my guy problem?
Well, I know that I can’t see the 11th graders wednesday or thursday, because nearly all of them DON’T have exams on those days. And Friday, I’m out of school as soon as the ethics exam is over, which is fron 8AM to 9.30AM, though I’ll most likely get out at nine. So even if he WAS there Friday, I wouldn’t see him. And I don’t have any exams Tuesday, so like HELL I’ll go to school THEN!

So that basically leaves me with Monday. Which is riiiiiiiiight after tomorrow. And I KNOW I have to tell him I like him in his face, because he deserves a LOT better than a stupid little half assed confession on MSN, or even on the phone. But the thing is, I’m not really a face-to-face-confession kind of girl. I guess that I have to days to get the guts I need, more than anything at all…

I talked to a friend, last night, too. I love her to bits, even though I’m just getting to know her. When I said I didn’t need advice–since I pretty much heard it all before–she offered to pray for me.

PRAY FOR ME.

The only times anyone’s every asked to pray for me was when I was in the hospital undergoing to crackpot surgery. And that… Is actually more than most of you would know in a lifetime, but still not a lot. So, it was a first for me, and I swear, I was almost crying on the keyboard. It touched me, it really did…

Same as the rose, actually.

Strange.
It’s like people are bent on making me cry tears of joy all the time..!

Who knows.

Maybe I’ll cry tears of joy on Monday?

Annoyance

Annoyance.

Yes.

 

You see, I have this friend that I’m particularly attatched to. We’ve barely known each other for a year, but it feels like a lifetime or two’ve gone by. We know each other more than we know ourselves, but, recently, I realised just how little I really knew him, and just how LITTLE he knew ME. It’s unnverving, to say the least, because I thought he knew me better than I knew myself. Boy, was I wrong.

And I’ve been discovering disturbing facettes of his personality. Some have dissapeared… And some have been accentuated. Things that I didn’t like at the get go–and have MENTIONNED to him–have been put in broad daylight, shamelessly, and I hate it. It’s like he’s an even bigger pervert, and even more innocent idiot, and a clueless moron even MORE SO than before.

And it ANNOYS THE FUCK out of me.

And I don’t know WHY it suddenly annoys me; I mean, yes, I said some things changed and were accentuated or eraced, but, that’s just the impression I GET. I’m pretty sure he hasn’t changed at all. Maybe I’m the one who changed too much. Maybe I’m too hormonal.
But in that case, wouldn’t I snap at everyone?
Ugh, I don’t know anymore…

I’m ignoring him for the time being. At least that assures my sanity, and he’s happy his head isn’t being chewed up…