A simple rose
I was talking to my recent… Well, infatuation is a pretty big word, but, let’s go with that. I was talking to him last night. And I found out a few interesting things about him. Things that made me realise that we’re even more alike that I’d first thought. It’s actually kind of creepy, when I think about it, but it makes me like this thin, barely existant bond between us, even more.
The thing is, I’m not sure if what I’m feeling is real or not. I mean, I’ve lived it a few times before. I tell someone I love them, they love me, we go out, and a week later I break up with them because that feeling I thought was love was just intense friendship. And it fucks me up so much, you can’t even begin to imagine. And I sort of talked to him about it, but sorta not, too. Because I used some fake pretext, and I think he got it, but I’m pretty sure he didn’t. I mean, I made him read something I’d written ABOUT my problem…
But, augh, I don’t think he got it.
And that leads me to the title; a simple rose.
He was talking about an incident that had happened five years ago, and he said he wanted another story, another little love story to be able to start over. And I just said “Well I hope you find one soon. If anyone deserves it, it’s you!” and he thanked me. And send me a rose.
On MSN, but it’s still the first rose I’ve gotten from a guy outside my family.
And it doesn’t UPSET me, as much as it send me up one track and then another. He’s been doing that a lot; actually, he did it several times last night, and I’m not sure what to make of it… Well, I still have… Three, four days, right? I still have time, I’ve got to have time, just to sort everything out.
I wish someone could make everything easy.
Like the Staples button.
So, I’ll be doing little journal entries like these about every day, I think. It makes me think and clears my thoughts. I’ll be submitting these in the ‘Journal’ and ‘Complications’ categories, for the moment. Because I’m pretty sure at least ONE problem is going to pop up in there, anyways…
I find it pretty fun, actually. Just because you can’t really judge me on what you read here. <3
Oh, and I had my french exam today. I found it pretty easy. I’m usually pretty good at reading comprehension, so I shouldn’t flunk this one–unlike most of my year in general. Because, yes, I attend a french school, even though I WANTED to go to an english one, and I have finals this and next week. Well, I HAD finals this week.
I have spanish, history, math, science and ethics next week. I hope I don’t flunk any of them. I REALLY need to study, at least a little, especially in science… And math. MOSTLY math. Because the stuff we learned in the beginning of the year is VERYfar away in my memory. Haha. I hope I pass.
And I have to finish my blay bust in arts by friday. Augh, I’m so annoyed with it… : \ I’m doing a friend of mine–well, I THINK she’s a friend–and that’s the problem. I don’t like her much. She’s being arrogant, stupid and selfish, and it’s like her ego inflated to the size of fucking Saskatchewan. It’s really annoying. And I’m not the only one who thinks that; I’m relieved to find out all my friends are pissed off at her for being a stupid bitch. Even her BEST FRIEND is annoyed. And that, really, is saying something.
Well, I’ll leave you to your things.
